Furry Little Bandits...

Remember that episode of 'The Simpsons' (entitled Smoke on the Daughter) where one of the sub-plots was when Homer and Bart are at war with the raccoons only to befriend them because the they resembled their own family? Remember when Homer used the father raccoon that looked just like him to get all the cigarettes out of the ballet dancers' locker room?? Remember when he put a black eye-mask to "protect his identity" only that it didn't really make a difference??? Well this late night post has got nothing to do with 'The Simpsons' or that particular episode. Instead, I'm gonna rant about those furry little bandits we call raccoons.

So several days ago, I was watching TV in the living room and I heard the familiar sound of the pet door we installed for my two cats to use to go in and out of the house. It wasn't windy outside (A strong enough wind can actually make door flap around since it is made out of a rubbery plastic) and I was wondering 'How long does it take to push in the pet door and come into the house?!' Then, I remembered that one cat was sleeping on the downstairs sofa and the other was sleeping in my sister's room. So my next thought was, 'What is out there?'

I got up to check out the pet door and I was like, 'That's no cat. That's a raccoon!' I banged on the sliding glass door and that furball was on the run. I turned on the outdoor lights, grabbed my airsoft guns and cautiously went outside, ready to fire if that furry little bandit was still around. Luckily, or unluckily for him, the raccoon got spooked as it made it's way upstream on the creek next to my house. I was able to get off three shots before he disappeared into the darkness. I remember last winter, a raccoon tried to pull the same stunt before I saw him and scared him away with similar tactics.

So at this point, my goal was clear: I was at war with a raccoon or two and I had to make sure that they know that they are not welcome around the house. For you animal lovers out there, don't take this the wrong way. I don't have any problems or any kind of grudge against raccoons. I do have a problem with them trying to get into the house. Especially with two pet cats, we don't want a bloody animal skirmish of any kind real soon. Like the Korean War, this personal war is limited and will only end when the opposite side stops "invading our territory".

Questions? Comments? Protests? Similar stories? Hate mail? I'd like to hear it!