Broken (High School) Dreams

So what does a Storm Trooper affected by the "ways of the Jedi" have something to do with broken dreams? Well, practically nothing. It was the closest thing available to go along with today's blog post.

So I have a few questions for you, the reader:

Was there a time when you were dreaming big and one day you got shot down?

Was there something you wanted to do or achieve in high school but that was all shot down??

Would you consider this as a broken "high school" dream???

Well I know what it's like to have a broken high school dream... But remember this:

"Life is molded from broken high school dreams."

For those of that know me to some degree, I kinda sorta coined that quote. For those of that don't know that well... Well now you know!

So when I was a Freshman in high school, the band program was pretty much my only forte. I was in the concert band playing the Trumpet. Around the beginning of the second semester, I made the section leader position and I kept that spot for the remainder of the school year. That was probably one of the greatest things ever to happen to me all throughout high school. Things were different because I went to school in the Washington D.C. area in the state of Maryland.

So by the end of the school year everybody starts thinking about next year right??? Well, I wanted to do marching band and I had to make the highest band class offered there in order to participate. I had no problem doing that and I was in the advanced band (designated Symphonic Band) for the remainder of high school.

So as summer break got underway, I got into planning. You know the usual:

Camp
Youth group activities & trips
Music practice
Spending time with friends
And so-on...

Well sort of... My parents dropped a bomb shell as summer got underway. We were moving to Oregon in August!

(Cue dramatic music)

"Seriously!? After 7-8 years of living in the Washington D.C. area (longer than any other city we've lived in), we're pulling up the stakes!?"

I was just devastated. I just saw my dreams of being in the high school marching band go up in flames... I had no idea about where we were going. I had no idea about what the school programs had to offer. That was the natural feeling... So we make our way out to the land of "unspoiled trees" and constant rain (which I'll soon come to hate) and settled in. School would start in September and we got registration and classes taken care of. Now all I had to do was check out the band program.

Much to my disappointment, I came into town too late to join the marching band. And just to further grind down the shards of my high school dream into pulp, I went from rising section leader of Washington D.C. to last-chair Oregonian underdog.

So throughout Sophomore year, I just slugged it out. I did Pep Band and had a lot of fun. Junior year, I FINALLY got to do marching band. Despite that, I was still feeling bummed that I was only gonna get two seasons of marching band in high school AND I was still an underdog. To make matters even worse, I got braces in my teeth midway through the year and my ability to play the Trumpet was severely hampered. If Junior year was any consolation, we got to go to the Anaheim Heritage Festival in Los Angeles, California that year and won the competition. Still, I felt quite useless because I couldn't play as well as I used to. Despite that, I was named the most improved Junior musician at the annual end-of-the-year band banquet.

At the end of my Junior year, I asked my band director if I could switch instruments to accommodate my braces during my Senior year. His suggestion was a low-brass instrument known as the Baritone (or the Euphonium). Immediately, the change came out as a positive. Playing the low-brass instrument didn't bother my mouth and braces and I soon became a low brass-o-holic. So I played the marching Baritone for the marching band and Pep Band seasons and played the Euphonium in the concert ensemble. At the end of the school year, just days before graduation, I was named the most valued and most improved Senior musician. I also lettered in band that year and was one of the few students to receive the Director's Award for band as well.

It was a decent school year. It was year to remember too because it was the school year where I developed a greater appreciation for life:

If you recall in a previous post during Thanksgiving break, I got to go flying with my uncle. About four minutes into our flight, the engine started to lose power and we were forced to make an emergency landing. Those few minutes were probably one of the more frightening experiences of my life. I started to feel a sense of change towards the outlook on life.

But it wasn't until around the beginning of second semester of my Senior year, I was thrusted into some kind of nightmare... I was driving home from school with my sister one sunny February afternoon. The roads were wet and sunlight was reflected from the water on the roads (Now I saw that as an ill omen). I was slowing for a red light and the next thing I knew was this impact feeling with the sound of crunching metal and loud pop. The car airbags went off and I was feeling disorientated. I felt as if my face was burning and I was left with minor propellant burns on my left forearm and a wound on the lower part of my face, just to the left of my chin. I was able to drive the car to side of the road and assess the situation. The car was totaled. I was injured. The person that caused the accident was someone I knew; a friend of mine. I ended up going to the hospital to be checked on. It was indeed a good day gone bad. And I found it in my heart to forgive my friend and from that day on, I had a greater appreciation for mortality.

(And I'll touch back onto this story in the near future.)

Those two experiences changed my outlook on life completely. It changed my life as well. Ever since I moved to Oregon, I haven't been the person I should have been. I've been a pessimist, depressed, and I haven't been a good friend towards the people that reached out to me. I have regretted being that bitter demon to the people that did care about me even to this day...

So back to the band thing...

The hard thing for me was dealing with that feeling of demotion, the fact that I had to change high schools, and the fact that there are people out there better than me. I was feeling so down, that I even had a great deal of dislike toward my band director. This personal high school ordeal lasted for 3 years (all throughout Sophomore, Junior, and Senior year) and has taught me a lesson of humility and that there's more to life than meets the eye. To this day, it serves as a constant reminder that there ARE chapters beyond high school. Especially after going through those near-death experiences, I've tried have a greater outlook towards life... And I've come to respect my former band director as well.

Thanks for reading! And remember:

"Life is molded from broken high school dreams."