Flubbed Headlines

These are 100% honest-to-goodness headlines:

1.) MASSACHUSETTS WOMAN HAS EYE ON KERRY'S SEAT

2.) Four Top Dogs Inducted Into Meat Industry Hall of Fame

3.) Material in Diapers Could Help Make the Deserts Bloom

4.) Study Shows Some Denial From Parents on Ecstasy

5.) MAN KILLED OVER PHONE

6.) Passengers Feeling Airline Crew Cuts

7.) Toronto Suspects Hate Crime

8.) Waterskiing Accident Ruled Accidental

9.) JUDGE NOT CONVINCED MURDER VICTIM IS ALIVE

10.) Men Who Make Inappropriate Advances Should be Exposed

11.) 11 HIGH STUDENTS SCORE PERFECT GRADE

12.) Bonus Permits Enable 809 Hunters to Kill Two Deer

13.) Brief Cooking at Low Heat Recommended For Diabetics

14.) Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

15.) POLICEMAN SHOOTS MAN WITH KNIFE

16.) Astronomers See Colorful Gas Clouds Bubble Out Uranus

17.) School Bans All Kinds of Nuts on Campus

18.) DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON

19.) MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

20.) HOSPITALS SUED BY SEVEN FOOT DOCTORS

21.) Youth Steals Funds For Charity

22.) MUSIC INDUSTRY MEETS ON DRUGS

23.) OIL BARGE BREAKS OFF TEXAS

24.) Dodge Says Probe Puts Him in Awkward Position

What were they trying to say???